As a submissive, it’s useful to know what to look for (and look out for since the line between “dominant” and “abuser” can be so thin and dangerous, and it can be difficult to find a “true dom”). As a Dominant, I’m always seeking new and better ways to give my subs what they need.

While I do plan to keep my copy of The Loving Dominant – and might even buy the Kindle edition for ease of searching for scene ideas by keywords – I would have liked to have seen more attention paid to the “how” and “what” of expressing dominance in a loving way and avoiding that slippery slope into selfishness and abuse. This is just a personal gripe anybody who presents themselves as a writer should show ability with the tools of the trade (and I mean written English, not just a computer keyboard). This might not be a problem for some readers, but it’s a major distraction for me. Unfortunately, if they had an editor with at least a high school Regents diploma it doesn’t show. Because so many previous reviewers had complained about the number and severity of spelling and grammar errors in the first edition, I shelled out for the “new and improved” version instead of buying a used copy of the previous one. Production of this book is also disappointing. To their credit, the Warrens do include a “Suggested Reading” section at the conclusion of most chapters – but even though their descriptions of a wide range of BDSM activities do seem to be reasonably accurate, the inclusion of so much material that isn’t related to the title topic results in disappointment that they didn’t dare to concentrate on deeper investigation of their subject’s promised discussion. I have to challenge whether the Community really needs another SM-101 when we have so many other excellent introductory resources available. John Warren himself apologizes for attempting to cram too much into one volume, for no better reason than to expand the book’s appeal and market. Looking at it again with a critical eye instead of just for enjoyment was a very different reading experience, and it took a while to figure out how to express this experience in a way that would be accurate and fair. The Loving Dominant by John Warren, one small detail escaped me. When I blithely offered during a Submissive Guide chat to toss off a review of I can guarantee that almost everybody will find good ideas to apply to their own scenes and lifestyle choices. This book by a practicing husband-and-wife team is a great introduction to the BDSM and Domination/submission scene for a nervous Newbie, as well as a useful reference for the more experienced player. If you've attended a few chat nights you've probably seen her lovely moniker there a time or two.

The loving dominant by john warren